


So You're on a Plane...

by The_Most_Obvious_Sherlockian



Category: Original Work
Genre: Babies, British Character, Gen, Neighbors, Original Character(s), POV First Person, Photographs, Sleep, Sleeping on an Airplane, Suits, Underwear, Waiting, Women's Underwear, air planes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 02:39:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4417838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Most_Obvious_Sherlockian/pseuds/The_Most_Obvious_Sherlockian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, someone needs to see this crazy.<br/>My friend and I play this game where we're given a scenario involving being on an airplane and say how we would react. Well, I've been having some awful writer's block lately and asked this friend for a plot and she, of course, told me to write a 'So You're on a Plane' and she gave me a scenario and so I wrote it and here it is. Enjoy. This is some weird shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> This is the introduction. This is the beginning of all of the chapters to come unless stated otherwise.

Finally, after waiting in line for half an hour to print my ticket, an hour and a half for security, ten minutes for a shitty scone and some coffee, and... I looked at my watch, fifteen minutes to board the plane, I stepped off the giant retractable metal tunnel and onto the aircraft. Of course, I would still have to wait as people filed into their seats and shoved their luggage into carry-on bins, but there was something satisfying about actually being on the plane after all that waiting. Not that I wasn't used to waiting. I traveled a lot for work, so what seemed like unnecessary hassles to most people, was like second nature to me.


	2. Underwear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So you're on a plane, and the man next to you gets up to go to the bathroom, and when he comes back, he asks for your underwear. What to you do?

Finally, I reached my row. I stuffed my suitcase in the overhead compartment (checking bags /was/ an unnecessary hassle) but kept my computer bag with me. I looked at my row. There was a woman with short, bright red hair who appeared to be sleeping occupying the window seat. An East Indian man wearing a think white suit and a matching fedora sat in the middle. His large nose was buried in a newspaper. It looked like I'd landed with the isle seat. 

"Afternoon," the man said after I'd sat down without looking up from his paper. He had a thick British accent despite his appearance.  
"It's... eight in the morning," I said. He didn't react. It seemed I'd be spending the next ten hours with a British man who neither knew nor cared what time it was. Well, I'd been next to worse. Or so I'd thought.

Four or five hours into the flight, I was reviewing a script my associate had sent me on my laptop, and my neighbor asked me to stand so that he could use the lavatory. It was beyond understandable, the man'd had two cherry cokes and a glass of wine, so I did the what was expected of me and allowed him to use the restroom. As soon as I sat, I went back to my script.

A bit later, the elderly woman with the window seat leaned over and tapped my shoulder. "He's been out a while hasn't he?"  
I smiled at her. She had the nosey neighbor look about her. "I'm sure everything's fine," I assured her. "There was probably a line," I added, remembering my morning.

She nodded and went back to doing absolutely nothing.

It was ten more minutes before my British neighbor returned. He knelt by my seat in the isle.

"Oh- sorry," I said as I began to get up.

"No, wait," he stopped me. He looked up and down the isle as if to make sure no one was looking. "I need to borrow your underwear."

I laughed. "My- my underwear?" I asked when he remained serious.

"Yes."

I almost laughed again, "What- did you have an accident or..."

The British man looked to both sides again. "I just need your underwear."

I blinked, "You can't be serious. I'm not giving you my underwear!"

"Why not?"

"Are you insane? Why do you want them?" I demanded.

"Just give them to me."

"You're not getting my _fucking_ underwear!" I almost yelled. Someone a few rows back shushed me. "Do you want back in your seat or what?"

He shook his head and turned around in the small isle. I heard him ask the man across the isle from me "Can I borrow your underwear?"


	3. Baby in a Suit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So you're on a plane, and a baby sits next to you, and he's wearing a business suit. What do you do?
> 
> Just FYI the whole spilling thing was not my idea... I just liked it.

It was an eternity before I reached my seat, but once I got there, I was pleased to see that I was the first one there. The window seat was mine!

I stuffed my computer bag under the seat in front of me and sighed contently. I was on the plane, ready to go. The only thing that was going to stop me from getting to Connecticut now was a plane crash.

I stared out my window and watched the workers and the carts of luggage and that one guy who had no idea what to do with himself. I looked away once I'd had my fill of that to see if anyone had claimed any other seats in my row. I caught sight of something pretty bizarre. One seat away from me, in the isle seat, there was a baby- probably six months old- no parent in sight... and he was wearing a business suit. He was holding a cell phone to his tiny ear.

"This flight lands at 4:55! And that is if there are no delays!" he snapped into the device. I was surprised to hear his voice, the voice of a full grown man. "I need to be in Connecticut by five! No! Someone needs to be there to take me to the convention center, Cindy! Five or you're fired!" he hung up and stuffed the phone into his suit.

"What's at five?" I asked cautiously, trying very hard not to laugh as the plane took off. 

The baby sighed. He looked at me tiredly. "A very important meeting," he said. "I'm the CEO of an absolutely massive company."

I bit my cheek in a desperate attempt not to laugh. "What company? Is it Gerber?"

He got this extremely confused look on his face. "What? No. Apple."

"Oh is that so?" I asked. You see, I happen to know that the CEO of Apple is not a six month old, but I figured what the hell? Humor the kid. If there was one thing I'd learned from my flying experience, it was not to question the weird shit that happens on the plane as long as it doesn't get violent. "You're fairly young for such a position are you not?"

The baby nodded. "Youngest yet," he said proudly.

"Yeah, I should hope so," I mumbled. "Do you mind if I just.. snap I picture of you?" I asked, thinking of how no one would believe what was happening without some sort of proof.

"Of course," the baby smiled and turned towards me as I pulled out my phone. "It's always nice to meet a fan."

I smiled and quickly took the picture. Time to stir the pot. "You know, I really hate Apple," I said, smirking and putting my phone away.

The baby's eyes got really wide really fast. I thought they were going to pop out of his head. "You- you hate.... what?" he stammered.

I laughed. "Yeah drives me absolutely crazy."

"How?" he demanded.

The flight attendant, obviously starting her rounds early, rolled her cart up to our row. "Can I get you anything to drink?" she asked.

"Water," the baby demanded.

She quickly got his water ready, quicker than one would think possible, and handed it to him. He immediately acted like he was going to take a sip of it but spilled it on me all the way from the isle seat.

"Oh! Shit!" I almost yelled, trying in vain to get away from the freezing water.

"Oh I'm sorry, let me help," the flight attendant offered. 

"No, that's alright I've got it," the baby said. And did absolutely nothing.

The attendant gave me an apologetic look. "Can I get you anything?"

I narrowed my eyes, "Tomato juice," I said. I hate tomato juice, and having to smell it for the next hour or so would suck... but it would be worth it.

She got me my disgusting tomato juice and moved on to another row. I waited until she was down the isle to lean over and dump my drink on the baby.

He didn't react immediately, but after a few seconds he took an excessively deep breath and turned towards me.

"You bitch," he growled.

I scoffed and looked out my window. We didn't talk or interact in any way for the rest of the flight, and I never saw another baby in a suit.


	4. This Definitely Qualifies as Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, you're on a plane, and the guy next to you falls asleep on your shoulder, what do you do?  
> Well, I try to wake him up.  
> He doesn't wake up, but he falls into your lap.

The wait to sit down was relatively short for once. As if the make up for that, though, I was stuck between a redheaded woman and a blue-eyed man. This wasn't _such_ a problem for me, I mean, I've had the middle seat before and this flight was only a few hours long, but it's still nice to have somewhere to lean that isn't into another person. 

Within the first 45 minutes of the flight, both the man and the woman were asleep. Less than ten minutes after that, both of their heads found their way onto my shoulders. That was definitely the worst part of the middle seat. But, it's happened before, and there's an easy solution.

I wiggled around a little and the woman woke up. She apologized and went on about her business.

The man, however, did not react. So, I moved a little more and even nudged him. None of this got him to wake up. It did dislodge him, though and I quickly found myself wishing I'd put the arm rest down.  He fell into my lap, head resting on my right thigh. I almost yelped. I did gasp, getting the attention of my other neighbor. 

"What do I do?" I demanded, whispering. Even though I wanted him to wake up, it would have seemed wrong to talk out loud around a sleeping person. 

She shrugged hopelessly, obviously trying not to laugh. "Wake him up?" she was whispering too.

"I tried that and he fell on my lap. I hate to think what could happen if I try again!"

The woman laughed. "I don't really see any other options."

I bit my lip. "Are you done with your drink?" I asked, gesturing to a small plastic cup with ice in on her tray.

"Yeah why? You're not-"

"I just need one ice cube," I laughed. 

She handed me one ice cube, as requested, and I pressed it against his neck. After a few seconds, he woke up. 

I had never seen anyone so embarrassed in my life. He blushed and apologized. I accepted his apology, but couldn't help laughing. He looked away, he couldn't talk to me. We didn't say one word to each other for the rest of the flight.


End file.
